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I Will Marry in Monaco!

After 8 days in Monaco, the Cote D’azur, and some of Italy,  I’m left wondering what life is really about. I was there just two years ago, but this trip was different! Those people live LIFE to the fullest. They are PAID and simply gorgeous.

That is not MY case.

My fam and I lost all our life savings at the Casino in Monte Carlo (the real casino Royale), in addition to $400 worth of Mac makeup I left on the plane in Paris. (emails and faxes to Charles de Gaulle airport go ignored)


Okay, I’m not really getting married, but Lord knows I’d get hitched in a heartbeat if the right, fine ass man approached me about bearing him kids.

They’d be little Latin-Frenchies…or better yet, Latin-Italianos (lots of them there, too).

And, me, the baddest Louis Vuitton runway shoe-wearing, Latina cooking momma known to the Principality!

Ay papi….

If you find yourself visiting that part of the world, you must take two days to just visit the areas of interest. In Monaco, the Jardin Exotique is spectacular with an incredible story and underground caves. Visiting the Prince’s Palace during the changing of the guard is impressive. The guards don’t let you photograph them, but sis and I are super stealth about capturing those wanted images; so we did. a few times. And the aquarium at the Musee Oceanographique is like nothing I’ve seen before. There were Cuban fish (meeting 2 Cubans straight from Havana was a trip! I swear we’re everywhere) in that joint! Love it. And of course, you’d fail yourself if you didn’t enter the Cathedral where the femme fatale Grace Kelly and Prince Rainer are memorialized.

We won’t even touch on the casino at Monte Carlo. Only ballers need enter.

However, you don’t want to get caught up in CarreFour, their grocery store/utility locale. You will pay $6 for 1/2 pint of strawberries and $7 for a dozen eggs. No lie. We’ll talk about those eggs in another post. Mother eggs, they were.

Hop, skip and jump over to the Cote D’azur to visit Nice, Cannes and St. Tropez… Spend money. Lots of it. Go to Ventimiglia and Sanremo, Italy if you have more time to spare. Drink good ass espresso and buy vino or really really good Limoncello for the low low. The beaches in Menton, France are peaceful and very forceful. Casino’s everywhere will surely keep you busy and break you to pieces.

DO NOT visit Gorbie unless you want to be scared to death as you ascend and descend the mountain. The *ish was the scariest thing I’ve done. We got lost. Very lost, in a remote mountain with a drunk man taking a pee-pee outside a ghost square. All we wanted to do was eat. But the 4 ppl outside the lone bar didn’t seem to like brown foreigners! Our only hope in making it safe and alive back down the rock to civilization was GOD and the damn French speaking navigation lady in our rental.

Then again, entering unprecedented tourist territory at 10 pm with NO street mountain lights, was not smart.

I’ve been back 4 days and I’m still recovering from all the sexy drinks, $1000 dinners, seeing Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher in the same hotel where I ate with chefs Christophe Cussac and Takeo Yamazaki, and of course the high of just being in Joel Robuchon’s kitchens in a private and exclusive meeting (not to mention being spoon-fed by these guys)!

So what it rained the ENTIRE time we were there, that my dad got a speeding ticket, that we go locked out of our place the night before we left (with my cell being the only working one, ringing inside), that my dad broke his glasses and had to rock the leaning specs during my interviews with the master chefs (I die). Or wait, and that I had to pay $22 for L’Oreal mascara at the local grocery store (see above). Something about this trip was riddled with all mishaps one could conjure up. The price I had to pay for the royale journalist treatment, I guess.

I was in Monaco. Drooling over abalone and jelly, Laborghini’s, Ferrari’s, Maserati’s and wardrobes I’ll never be able afford. The only thing I regret not doing was sitting on Alain Ducasse’s lap at Hotel de Paris, as I butcher the French language. I really do need to matriculate in a refresher course; speaking like I used to is so sessy!

So, as I gather my thoughts, edit pictures and video of the trip, please enjoy these few shots, none of which are of the gastronomic culture. You’ll have to come back for that this weekend! (its taking me an extra long time to sift through 4,000 pictures). I am excitedly doing a 3 part part series on my visit from the gastronomic perspective and restaurant/chef interviews. I hope you’ll come back as I take you to one of the best places in the world!



And I also leave you with a treat: the perfect cappuccino as I sipped it in Sanremo, Italy during a day trip last week! So good, I went back for the blue demitasse after playing at that casino.

They really did invent espresso. And it’s so obvious.

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32 thoughts on “I Will Marry in Monaco!

  1. LOL Latin-Frenchies and Latin-Italianos, but isn’t that redundant? After all French and Italians are also Latin 😀 It looks like an amazing trip! I just hope I get invited to the wedding :-p

  2. Bren:
    Thanks for sending.  I knew you guys were going to Monaco because we were in DC. on the 24 and 25 of March and talked to your parents.  David told me you were going but that it was going to be a surprise for Betty.  En fin, que gusto ver las fotos.  You know I named my daughter Carolina after Carolina de Monaco.  Back then she used to make headlines. 
    Hope you do find a great guy to marry and do go back and marry in Monaco and invite us to attend your wedding.  Let me know in advance though to have time to plan the trip.
    Again un beso y cuidate mucho.
    Marta (Cucusa)

  3. Bren – it looks like you had the most amazing time!  Can’t wait to read the rest of the stories you’ve got to share!

  4. Sounds so wonderful. You know I have been all over Europe and France except the south of France. Sorry about the Makeup. It was probally destroyed( cosmetics can be considered weapons by terroists now:-) or pocketed by the airline cleanup crew.Looking forward to the interviews with the chefs!

  5. uh oh…there u go…u and your blackberry (the picture above). getting one next month, finally! BUT $7 eggs? ummm no.
    🙁
    u saw ashton and demi? neat. the nature is just lovely there. wow.
    can’t wait to see your master chef interviews. i’m soooo jelly! LOL!
    sorry still abt the darn rain. ugh! it still was a blast i know!
    and honey chile if u find a nice lil latin italian man that wants to make sessy babies…ummm call ya girl.  😉  heheee!
    holla…

  6. I was 18 when I was last in Monaco…a long time ago in caveman years. I loved the area and the food…too young to get intop the casino.

  7. Girl I am super jealous of you. What a wonderful trip. The scenery is so pretty and you look lovely! 
    So sorry about your MAC makeup..that is the best stuff ever!

  8. Mishaps aside darling…. you will never forget this trip and have kick-ass pictures to prove it.   Sorry about the loss of your make-up, I would contact the airlines directly, make-up is not cheap.. and I can relate to the over prices strawberries which are lush here in Japan but VERY OTT. 

  9. Tiffany: Come on!! just DON”T lose ur make up bag!!
    Ben: French and Italian are actually not Latino’s. we share the same source of language, but they are far from being Latino.
    Marta: HOLA!!! ay, so glad you got this and read. Tu sabes como son mami y papi! son los mejor, I swear. We did have a great time. besote!
    Patsy: I can’t wait either, till I have all the other posts done. It’s going to be great!
    Joan Nova: hey girl! i thought so, too. i was not granted that tryst! 🙁
    Helene: You must go one day! it’s so absolutely gorgeous!
    Rosa: It was great!
    Courtney: you have to go to southern france. it’s so incredibly different there. i love southern italy, too. i still hope to find my make up!
    The Duo Dishes: thanks for inspiring me to my French game back on
    Miesha: yes, ashton and demi were there! how fun, right!
    Bellini Valli: you HAVE to go back. And, I saw so many teenagers get rejected and not allowed to go in!
    Joie de vivre: Yup yup and yup!
    Michelle: I looove my MAC stuff. I’ve slowly started replenishing. s.l.o.w.l.y!
    AprilMarie: i’m desperately trying to recover all that goodness.
    Elgar: oh yay for you! you must tell me when u do! it’ll be nice to have another personal contact there.
    3carnations: yes, so cute i wanted to take them with me! the lady wouldn’t tho! ha.
    Big Boys Oven: it was an incredible trip, for sure, even tho it rained!

  10. Ivy: pity it was raining indeed, but we made it work!
    Farida: you must make it there eventually! it’s so worth it.
    Jen: hey Jen, I sure hope you and hubby do a honeymoon there (you know ur 5 yr–wink, wink)
    Chefectomy: man, i’m trying to tell you, the cappuccino en italia is amazing.
    Zestycook: it was F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S!

  11. Ironically, I support WorldTracer, the app used by nearly every airline to track lost luggage. I wonder if your makeup would come up with a search, lol.

    Very nice pics. Very beautiful place as well…. so jealous.

    – Luis

  12. Luis: i checked and checked and checked and they never got back to me.
    Kevin: it was more than lovely!

  13. dang… haven’t been to Monaco but been to southern france and stayed with friends and hotels. Never fails to binge on Bouillabaisse, Calisons, Ratatouille, etc… Being born on a tiny island and surround by sea, I felt at home in this region and the food style suited me. I don’t mind visiting Monaco but lately I’m dreaming of Andorra  more 😛

    BTW… no mishaps, no adventures right? I will trade my current position with you anytime! I missed such adventures 😀

  14. I just adore your photos; perfect angles and atmosphere; I am sorry you had that happen with your possessions. and to think I had heard a relative complain about Monaco being a boring place to live!

  15. Complimenti per l’articolo, davvero interessante, spero tu possa pubblicare altre informazioni così interessanti in futuro, tornerò presto a leggerti. Buona giornata

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