Don’t get too excited now, boys and girls… I’m not getting ready to show you my tatas. There’s not much to share anyway. I was totally gypped with a generous amount of cleavage; at least in comparison to mami’s double D’s. The woman is 4’11 so how I came up short is for God to know and me to just live with. I’m not skinny by any stretch of the imagination and I’m a thoroughbred Latina, so you’d think I’d be endowed in a way that would license me to authentically sing to the tune of “my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!”
Women like Sofia Vergara, Iris Chacon and the bombshell Salma Hayek are women that highlight the goodness and full sexiness many latinas embody. Have you flipped to Telemundo or Univsion lately? All those chicas have goddess bodies and romps for days. In my case, I’m thankful for Victoria Secrets’ “wonder bra” or anything to push up my babies a tad bit.
And these ridiculously fabulous pearls my mom made for me to clutch on to during times of duress.
Regardless of my mental woes of wanting to fill up my tee’s and bikini’s, I know my milkshake comes in other fashions, so I’m good!
I’m sure many of you have heard the term “nudie foodies” go around Twitter over the last 6 weeks or so. If you couldn’t stand the secrecy or the coded words and winks, you’ve probably figured it out by now. If you’ve not heard of it but are now curious, do yourselves a sexy favor and read on.
So, what is this nudie foodie bit? In its simplest form, it’s a foodie that’s nude. Well, kind of. In its more complex, thought out existence, it’s a project that fellow stiletto-rockin’ Linda of SaltySeattle came up with in an effort to do something to help Japan get back to a place of peace and normalcy. The unfortunate tsunami killed thousands of people and displaced many surviving families.
I’m all about charity and when called upon to share my goodies, be it through cooking, volunteering, donating food and hosting events I’m down. Though, this particular charity involvement was a bit tricky in every sense of the word. I had to show skin. Not a lot, but enough to get the fellas interested and intrigued. That was a point of conflict for me. I knew my parents were going to have a fit, my man-friend disappointed but have every other man swooning. See, I don’t like to show off my body, unless I’m at the beach, and that’s seldom and usually comes with an iron-clad ensemble of a 15″ floppy hat and “leila” shades which will distract the onlooker. There is however a picture where I bare a whole lot of thigh (because that’s where all my meat is packed) and look the part of a suggestive and borderline desperate 25-year old wannabe vixen. Maybe you want to see it here.
But this Nudie Foodies project is the ultimate level of commitment and passion I could lend to a needy situation without any regret.
I called on a Playboy photographer who quickly volunteered to do the shoot. I’m a novice at this stuff, at least the walking around half-naked in 6″ stilettos with blaring lights and filters stuff. But David, with all the breasts and otherness he’s seen in the 15 years he’s been working with Heffner, had me cracking up and made me feel like I could really do a full out spread.
He threw the notion out there and had to catch it back just as quick. Yeah, let’s not push it.
After a short-lived internal guilt-trip, I’m thrilled and honored to be the only Latina in the lineup. This awesome Nudie Foodies endeavor is delicious and I’m happy to rep us chicas, even those of us who wouldn’t dare bare a toe! It’s my way of showing that we’re not only good for being sexy, but also thoughtful, considerate, smart and caring.
The book is slated to be published in just a few more weeks, so you’ll have to check it out and buy the book! If you’re so curious that you can’t wait, then by all means visit The Nudie Foodies site and lurk around until we show ourselves. Drool, wonder, click and click until it’s ready. In fact, read today’s feature to get a more detailed glimpse of why I did this.
In the meantime, I will share this promo vid I shot with a talented woman by the name of Ari Johnson. I think you just might figure out what I’m sharing in the book. Leave your mind to all the imagination in the world, though. It got pretty steamy up in my kitchen!
It was during my photoshoot that I fell in love with my tatas and my body as it is. And in that way, The Nudie Foodies has given me something, too!
Now go look!